Captain Robins ⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆ (The Scary Breakfast Challenge!!!)
- Tyler Andrew
- Jan 18, 2017
- 4 min read
This week was far more than a food voyage. It was an eye squinting battle between me and the largest food challenge I have ever encountered. That’s not saying a whole lot however, since this is only my 3rd eating challenge I have ever attempted. I’ve gone fork forth against a 50+Oz steak at the Real Sports Bar in Toronto (The Hail Mary Challenge), and even so, this one felt like so much more. It was me encountering my Everest. A breakfast blitzkrieg. “The Captain Robins Scary Challenge”.
I honestly don’t encounter many challenges, despite being a feaster. I can understand that confusion. Don’t get me wrong I can certainly eat a lot of food. But I’ve never prompted myself as a competitive eater. I’m just a guy who lifts weights and eats a lot of food from time to time. Also, to be honest…it's not necessarily an enjoyable feeling to be completely spilt over in your gut from a challenge. Not to mention, I still am an individual who lives by a healthy lifestyle and is committed to maintaining a certain physique. But from time-to-time, I like to see how far I can push my seemingly endless appetite, and put it up against some local challenges. This time, it was a badass breakfast platter at Captain Robins.
For those of you who are not aware, Captain Robins is the newly renovated “Three Stooges” restaurant, that was once a beloved dinner for the Port Credit crowd. The restaurant is still very much the same from what I have heard, and that its still run by the same owners. So why the name change? Really…I’m asking you. If anyone knows please shoot me a message. Could be to just keep up with competition across port credit's waterfront. But regardless, Three Stooges always seemed to have a good reputation with its customers and have lots of buzz about it. Captain Robins should be just as good, if not better.
Their menu selection is a menu committed to the familiar and favourites. All day breakfast, sandwiches, wraps, salads, chicken, steaks, fish, pasta, salads, all your finger foods, etc. Almost everything and anything is coming out of one kitchen. What’s more impressive is that the food is still cooked with care and fineness despite the menu being so bloated in options. Even at 7pm they were up for putting together a breakfast plate to feed a family of 5 all for one person. This person.
The challenge was as followed: 3 eggs. 3 bacon. 3 sausage. 3 ham. 3 French toast. 3 pancakes. 3 toast. 3 orders of hash browns, and a cup of orange juice. I know you’re thinking the same thing as I did. “That’s it”. I can future sight your thoughts readers, and I understand your arrogance. I too presented such smugness. I therefore find it my duty to be your guide if you ever choose to attempt this challenge. If I could not complete it, then maybe the advice I bestow upon you here can help you conquer the captain's challenge. Again, I am not a competitive eater. These are just things I would do if I could do it again.
Pace yourself. Don’t start by chocking down huge morsels. Chew. 45 minutes is actually a lot of time.
Get the starches out of the way first. Pancakes, French toast and toast.
Use the syrup sparingly. Those pancakes are unfairly DENSE. It will drink up the syrup and make it all the heavier to consume.
Ask for your eggs to be scrambled an too be “runny”. I know. Uncooked egg isn’t the nicest, but your doing a challenge here, not pairing it with a fine Cabernet Sauvignon. The eggs will be much easier to eat this way if you mix them in with other foods.
Sip water with your food to help it go down easier.
Prepare yourself right. Do some research a couple days beforehand on how to prepare for a food challenge. This is something you need to execute right if you want to complete it.
The height of the food, made a shadow behind it.
Like I said, the pancakes were “corn bread” dense. They will be the second hardest thing on the plate. The hardest thing though was the sea of hash browns at the bottom of the plate. They claim that this is three orders, but it is an unforgiving amount of shredded potato’s. They did taste fantastic however. They are cooked with caramelized onions, which made them taste super good, even to the last unbearable bite. The bacon was on the “raw” side, but its an easy request if you want it to be crunchy. Wet bacon is STILL bacon. And the sausages and ham were your typical breakfast style proteins. Can’t go wrong with that.
Looking pretty fierce mom. But next time try it with a little more lunacy. Like this...
My attempt to grunt it out seconds before giving up.
In the end, the Captains Scary Breakfast Challenge slaughtered me off quickly, like a slasher film villain victimizing an…. average, ordinary story line character. Taking me out even before I could get half way through. I threw in the towel at about the 30 minute mark. Even for a beloved breakfast man like myself, I couldn’t find myself muscling through the pancake purge that remained.
The WHOLE CHALLENGE only costed 25$, which is ridic cheap considering all the food you got in the end. It made it much more enjoyable to lose knowing that I wasn’t also shaming my credit card statement.
Budget✔ Experience✔ Aesthetic✔ Size✔ Taste ✔
Captain Robins. 5/5
